Do you remember when you were at school? You had to have a best friend didn’t you? You needed someone to hang out with. If not, you felt like you didn’t belong. You might have had many friends, but only one would become your best friend.
So my question is why can’t you be your own best friend?
“My best friend is the one who brings out the best in me.” ~ Henry Ford. Although this quote is talking about a best friend, it can still apply to you.
You can be your best friend who brings out the best in you. Nobody knows or understands you like you do.
Best friends are not always good for us.
My dad used to warn me about friends. “June, be careful about friends. You don’t need them.”
I protested. “Oh dad! My friends are great. They’ll never hurt me.” I always thought I knew best. So, I ignored his advice. And a few years later I met my best friend.
I loved her like a sister. In fact, she was closer to me than my sisters. She was my secret-keeper, boyfriend adviser, problem solver, shoulder to cry on, clubbing partner, my 24/7 point of contact and more. I thought we would be friends forever.
But life changes and stuff happens. And so, one day out of the blue she suddenly ended our friendship. She completely cut herself off from me. It hurt because I invested time, emotions, support and everything else in our friendship.
What did I learn from that experience? That I must be my own best friend first before I give my heart to another friend. That way if they leave me, they won’t take a part of me when they go.
It’s a pity that my dad didn’t live to see me take his advice. I learnt how to become my best friend. It didn’t happen overnight. But it’s made me a stronger woman because I don’t have to use another person for a crutch.
These are some of the steps I took and I would like to share them with you. These tips helped me appreciate who I am. And to accept the fact that my best friend is found in me.
#1. Accept yourself for who you are
You’re not a carbon copy of anyone else. You are unique. It doesn’t matter if you’re thin, fat, short or tall. There is something special about you. And you just have to find out what it is. If you need to develop a new skill or work on your physical appearance, do so. But be happy with the skin you’re in. And be thankful for your life. It’s precious.
#2. Love yourself first before you love someone else
When you love yourself it’s easy to love others. You can’t give what you haven’t got. Loving yourself will boost your self-esteem. It will give you the confidence to spend time by yourself. You’ll be happy to sit and read a book, go for a meal, watch a film or just chill out alone. You won’t crave approval from someone else. Loving yourself will benefit your mind, body and spirit.
#3. Dress to impress yourself
You dress to impress a man don’t you? Why not dress to impress yourself instead? When you put on your outfit, make sure you look good for yourself first before anyone else. Look in the mirror, smile at yourself and tell yourself that you look great. It will make you feel good. And you’ll radiate positive vibes.
#4. Don’t let other people’s negative opinions affect you
People will always have opinions about you. You can’t stop them. Some will be good and others negative. Don’t let people’s bad opinions affect you. I like this saying, “You can please some of the people some of the time, but you can’t please all the people all the time.” So, please yourself instead. If you constantly worry about the negative things people say about you, it will affect your self-esteem. It can also stop you from moving forward and progressing in life. Negative words can crush you if you allow them to take control of your mind.
#5. Depend on yourself and you won’t get disappointed
There’s no guarantee that your best friend won’t let you down one day. Friendship is supposed to be a two-way relationship. But you might find that you end up doing all the giving and them the taking. When you neglect yourself and depend on someone else to motivate you, for support, fun, happiness or whatever you need, the chances of you getting hurt are quite high. If they decide to come out of your life, like my ex best friend did, what are you going to do? It’s traumatic when you break up with your best friend.
You can survive without a best friend. But you can’t survive without yourself. When I feel alone and in need of a friend, I always tell myself that I was born alone and I will die alone. Best friends come and best friends go. But you can never get away from yourself. So why not make you your own best friend?
Has your best friend ever let you down? What did you do to cope with the disappointment?
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