How would you know if your man is cheating on you? You might see the signs but don’t take notice to what’s really going on.

Have you ever had an instinct that something is wrong? Follow your instinct because it’s there to guide you. And it’s usually right.

These are some of the clues that your man is cheating on you.

#1.  When he says he’s going to his friend’s house late at night to play pool. Is he really?       

He insists that he has to play or he will let his friend down. It doesn’t matter what you say, he’s determined to go. The question is why can’t the pool game wait till the next day?

#2.  When he develops unusual affection for you overnight.

He’s not normally the type who likes hugs and kisses. He describes himself as a macho man. But suddenly he’s all lovey-dovey, soft and affectionate.

#3.  When he comes home wearing a new woman’s fragrance which is not from your household.

You know that perfume smell on him is not from your collection. But he swears that it’s the latest one he bought for you as a surprise gift.

#4.  When he comes home and gets aggressive because you ask him about his day.

He over reacts when you ask him how his day went. He gets angry and tells you that you should get off his back. And complains that he just had a long and stressful day. He claims he needs his space to breathe or some ‘me’ time.

#5.  When he’s too over protective of his phone.

When he’s in the shower and his phone rings he insists that you shouldn’t answer it. He doesn’t leave his phone lying around. And even sleeps with it under his pillow so you can’t have access to it.

#6.  When you call him and he doesn’t answer his phone but text you back instead.

Instead of answering, he text you to tell you that he can’t talk now as he’s busy doing something. And he’ll call you back when he finishes. But that call never comes! When he gets home his excuse was that he forgot as he was busy.

#7.  When he gets suspicious about the person you are talking to.

Every time you get a call he gets suspicious and asks who is calling you. He accuses you of speaking to other men. He doesn’t allow you to explain. He jumps to conclusion and tells you that he doesn’t trust you. 

#8.  When he comes home wearing a different set of clothes.

When he left for work in the morning he was wearing a white shirt. But he comes home in a blue shirt. His excuse was that he had an accident and he had to buy a new shirt on the way home.

#9.  When he says he’s working late with a colleague.

He always says he’s working late on a project. But he always smells of alcohol and ladies perfume when he gets home.

#10.  When he calls you another woman’s name in his bed.

Night after night in his sleep, he calls out another woman’s name. When you confront him in the morning he denies it and tells you you’re imagining things. So why does he constantly do it?

#11. When he’s always late for appearances.

He arranges to meet you for lunch but turns up late. One of his excuses is that he lost track of time. The other one is that he had to run errands for his boss.

#12.  When he’s too tired to make love consistently.

Most nights he complains that he’s too tired to make love. He said he doesn’t have the energy or the time. He claims he has to wake up early in the morning. He rolls over and goes to sleep.

What do you do when you find out that you been cheated on?

This is a delicate situation that could destroy a family and friendships. Do you confront your spouse, ignore it or pack up and leave?

• Before you confront him make sure you’ve got proof. And not just jealous suspicions.
• Ignoring the situation won’t make it go away. It could lead to melt-down, abuse of substances or even suicide. It’s best to seek professional help such as a marriage guidance counsellor, relationship coach or couple counselling.
• If you decide to pack up and leave, make sure that it is the right decision. If there are children involved, they will be affected by the separation.

Cheating is usually caused by a number of reasons.  

It could be because:

•  There’s no spark in the relationship anymore. That’s why it important to be spontaneous and creative to keep your relationship alive.
•  There’s lack of trust. When there isn’t enough trust the relationship doesn’t function properly. And there’s always friction and lots of accusations. That can sometimes drive your man to cheat.
•  When there’s not enough romance he would tend to search elsewhere for other fulfilment and excitement.
•  When there are constant arguments if left unresolved, it could lead to friction in the relationship.  Worse still, your man might run into the arms of another woman looking for comfort.

Dealing with a cheating spouse is not so clear-cut. Don’t throw blame around. Sit down together and discuss what caused him to cheat on you.

Accept his apology if he apologises. And decide if you can forgive and forget. The next step is to seek professional help. Build the broken trust between you. If you still love each other, it’s worth saving your relationship.

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Has your spouse ever cheated on you? How did you deal with it?